10 years behind

it seems i am always 10 years behind
everyone i know
in everything
i was born 10 years too early
and my net worth is minus 10 million
i have 10 songs that understand perfectly
who i will be in 10 years
even my fame
is 10 years behind
all the best years yet to come
and even when i hit my peak
10 years later
it will always feel like everyone is 10 year ahead
and i will be 10 years too late
like the greatest artists
who are nothing until they day
10 years is the great trickster
toying with me in my mind
just when i figure it all out
he will me that it’s 10 years more
go on and give it a try
when i was 30
i did the college thing
all the partying and sex
and when i was 20
i was thrown in with the wolves
but i was only 10
all i wanted was to play and run around
i was not ready for all the tragedies
i was not capable of employment
or managing my relationships
or paying rent
as we get older
time shrinks into nothing
until there is nothing left
but lost dreams of youth
10 years of solitude
10 years of suffering
now that is something only men like me have
you will never hear it in an ed sheeran song
or john mayer playing fake rich man’s blues guitar
when i get my chance
i will show you what 10 years of failure sounds like
10 years of carving emptiness into my heart
10 years of tears and burned bridges
you will see my 10 years of deleting everything
everyone who wrote me off
what a fool they said
just a drunken lunatic
i was secretly in my 10 year movie star role
they will show the movie in 10 years
when you are 10 years stuck in the future
you will all look at me and wish you were
10 years younger
i want what he has
i want him
i want to know what it’s like
i want to remember
10 years will go by
i will become what you are now
you will be dead and long gone and forgotten
i will begin to fade
i will sing with this old crack in my worn out voice
the kids will laugh and call me rough road
i will be that grumpy old man on the street
screaming at the lawn mower
10 years of broken hearts and bullshit
and all my kids hate me
10 years will become lifetimes
of nothing and everything that can be said
i will take this 10 years to my grave in the ocean and sun
10 years is nothing
i read my books and can’t understand anything
got 10 dollars and it used to pay rent
now it gives me a lick from someone else’s lollipop
10 years drunk in a dark bar
10 years of bad poetry to write one good line
the devils laugh all night at this man i have become
i walk around the town as if i own the place
the man with 10 good songs
10 years ahead of his time
written 10 years ago
what’s a girl gotta do to get a drink in this place she wonders
he tells him 10 year tales
they drink and love for 10 solid years
he is always 10 years behind
she is always 10 years ahead
they keep drifting apart
10 years here
10 years there
eventually drifters pass each other
just like a broken clock
is right twice a day