36 Years

it took me 36 years
to see the light
all that foolishness
chasing something
running away from everything
blinded and seduced by a mountain of lies
the disease called society
the disease that created me
the disease that created its own cure
a storm within a storm
like the sun when you get too close
just a great big ball of fire and chaos
when you get too close they call it hell
when it shines and warms and gives life
it is the very light of heaven
this broken winged bird
resting in the arms
of a naked beast
a black stone in the heart of love
coughed up valleys of blood
shame raging forth
you grasp the unknown
just enough to get a glimpse of eternity
it took me 36 fucking years
to see the man i am
and to know the anguish i could never give
to create another like me
the gift i might deprive of the future of man
i cannot bear to hold such thoughts much longer
our history is ugly
like my own
a dumb species trapped by the greed of its own brilliance
just like me
food water sleep
i go where the words and melodies take me
there can never be another
i am the god of the other
and you are my god