american jokes

Never tell an American a joke. They’ve heard them all. And they make you feel unamerican because you didn’t know. Like here’s one: Bipolar means polar bear who swings both ways. I love America. The worse it gets, the better their comedians become. That’s called Cosmic Humor. In europe it’s still cool. In Finland it’s too fucking cold but I love it. I whistle better after a good vocal workout. Like Winds of Change good. I want to become a comedian but nobody will laugh at my imaginary shows so I just imagine more theatre in my head like plays where I wake up on stage and the audience watches how my day unfolds and I pretend they are not there. I sing and play and eat and shower and do perfect pushups and brush my beard and read and meditate and dance to Jon Hopkins new album and write poetry and stuff like that. Laughter comes when our rational brain can’t go further. Have you ever tried to sneeze with your eyes open?