Anxiety or Excitement?

Getting ready to set sail again soon. Going to the baltics to perform and see my friends. I’m scared. But excited. And kind of scared about my excitement. But this gets me even more excited! It’s a kind of sexual creative anxiety flowing in my body wanting to be RELEASED. This feeling inspires me and it’s also terrible agony. Manic euphoria. Too much. So i sleep less but wake up happy as fuck. I fall in love a million times every time I go outside so I have to stay at home to avoid the chaos. But a man can handle only so much solitude, especially a performer like me. I love the attention. The spotlight. The intensity this brings. Again, the fear. Or just moving from place to place. The scenery on a train or car or bus. Watching people and sometimes great opportunities arise from this mundanity for poetry and beauty. I want more. I want it all. Santa bring me more of what I have, that’s all I want. This need to express. Primal urge to create. Thanks for reading. MN