I have been reading your emails with great fascination and written many replies. But I never send them. Often they turn into these great poetic rambles and sometimes find their way into song.
I want to write you and connect with you but I have been using this energy as a way to connect with myself. Go beyond the ego personality and all that.
I am living on my own. Returned to where it all began. Listening to classical music. Reading spiritual books. My guitars lean against walls and I wonder what kind of music they will play. I am avoiding people and performing and that whole show business thing. It’s a real drag and gets in the way of my routine.
I don’t have internet at home or on phone so I have to go to the library few times per week to watch youtube or whatever. It’s only when we are without something can we see it’s true significance in our lives and well-being, good or bad.
For someone like me, conformity is the enemy. When people gather or do things that everyone does, I recoil. I think conforming is a huge threat to our individuality as poets and creatives. Or as I like to think of myself these days, The Psychedelic Politician.
Yes we are also intertwined and there is this great community of earth and its inhabitants. And we can take part in this cosmic dance. But because of our creativity and imagination we are powerful beyond measure. The whole sovereign individual vs collective is kind of an illusion. It’s just a perspective. When we put things under the microsope or telescope, and zoom in/out far enough, there is no end. Things go in and out way beyond what our minds are capable of comprehending. There are limits to perception.
That’s where art comes in. To go beyond ordinary perception. It is like a (inner) spaceship or time machine. Music. Painting. Cinema. Poetry. God is found between the words. Between thoughts. Between memories. Between experiences. It seems like there is no between. Is there a between in the ocean in waves or in seasons changing? It seems it is all connected. What about life and death? What is the moment of transition. Where does it turn. It’s the same thing as with the zooming in and out.
There is no difference. Everything is the transition.
So god is found in the turning of the brush. In the cycles of chords and melodies. Everything is an imagination. Right now these words are being composed. They are becoming a whole and consist a million galaxies, interacting and brought to life in the one who is reading them. So this is the mind. This is what the mind does. It attaches. Falls in and out of love like that zooming. The lens. The volume. The resolution.
Life is poetry.
That might be a post-modernist idea that threatens the very fabric of western civilization. That’s why Jordan Peterson gets so angry and emotional. He knows he is playing a losing game. The popularity contests don’t last. Nor the insights. They only bring temporay relief. People lose interest. They just want to be entertained. He is perhaps awakening some to think a little bit beyond the next moment. See the big picture of history and what can happen if we let things too loose.
He is right in a way. Nietzche was too. But they didn’t go deep enough. They got lost in the morality of truth and wisdom. The endless squabble of language and its metaphysics (first principles). There is no first or last. The universe is infinite. The multiverse. I suppose that is a truth claim I would have to back up… I do in my art. When was the last war fought between different artist communities? Never happened. Never will. That says quite a lot.
Things are born to die.
Order and chaos.
Things are advancing and blablablaaa. Less people in poverty and more opportunity.
BULLSHIT.
Things are getting better and worse at the same time.
Always.
This is nature.
This is god.
This is love.
Morality is just a human concept.
It becomes an ideology.
The sun don’t give a fuck.
It burns and shines and warms and creates life.
Get too close and it will destroy everything in it’s path.
No democracy. No capitalism. No communism.
Those are just human games.
To not be so alone in this great suffering. The great perfection.
I read the books. Listen to the records. Watch the great movies. Talk to people as if they are nobody. Family. Friends. Lovers. They are all the same to me. You are them and them is me. The essence of natural phenomena. That is where the magic waits. Even amidst great suffering. To find space there. Oh ok. So this is what it means to welcome suffering. To see it as a miracle. Something that is transforming into something else. Sunshine and hurricanes are on their way.
My thoughts sometimes overwhelm me. Physiology gets overloaded and there is sadness, anxiety, hatred, fear, confusion, frustration. Survival mechanisms at work. The animal. The beast.
Gods laugh. Waiter!
I smile and breathe deeply as if I am meditating outside in a nuclear war (btw, nuclear comes from nucleus which is the inner part of a cell). I know it’s a miracle that this can even happen. Some force is creating this. Maybe me. I don’t know. The destruction of everything is the beginning of something. Just going through a purification. Life is more vicious than all the serial killers combined. No pleasure. No thought. Just killing. Destruction. Nature. Rebirth. We haven’t advanced at all in taming hurricanes. Zero percent. Don’t let the spaceships to mars and fancy phones fool you.
Anyways…
My goal with the music is to just play my songs and tell my stories to people. Emotional nudity. Look into the distance. I also want to make films. Gonna buy a camcorder and just walk around the planet shooting footage and then learn to edit and combine my songs into it. Maybe interview people. Birds and giraffes. Learn it as I go. Probably start up a youtube channel or something like that. Playing in bars and clubs with some stupid 4 piece hipster band is so lame… ugh, no thanks. I want to have 20 musicians (just synth players) in my band playing outside, free for all… none of this celebrity rock star mansion cocaine nonsense. I’m gonna call those fuckers out! They are mostly dumb people who have the looks and maybe some skills but that’s about it.
Just gotta always remember what I learned from our old pal Jason in London…
The same universal love flows through all of us 🙂
Until next time…
be well
M