calm

can you feel the poetry
of this moment
whatever is happening
wherever you are
somewhere on a continuum
between life and loss
maybe you are standing on the edge
of a tall building or bridge
you want to jump and end
your current form
even in that moment
a great poem is there
fully alive and dying
you blink and forget
that you are cool
and kind of amazing
it’s just your fucking mind
that wants things to be
some other way, desperate
for a state change
chasing moods and hoping
nobody will see this disgusting
pathetic version of a you
its always something
but its actually the same thing
this war with ourselves
even when you found
what you thought you were
looking for
the job, the partner, the money
the kids, the dogs, the fame
the awards, the friends
the new car or bigger house
all your dreams come true
and still you feel like
nothing is worth doing
or getting up for
so you take pills and drink
eat, cum and escape
find answers and distractions
on the internet on your feeds
in songs and conversations
and books and movies
anything to take away
this inner emptiness
that wants you
that longs for you
sucks you dry
and the creepiest part
is that you want it
you demented twisted fuck
you want to be anywhere
but here in the black pulsing vortex
of the now wow wuwuu wawaaa
a door creaks in the distance
troops gathering outside
a foreign army
soon it will be
madness on the streets
and you will miss
this calm