I’m currently staying with my parents in Eastern Finland. I’ve once again returned to the nest; gathering energy & saving money so I can set off out into the world for yet another adventure. Doing some work outside in the yard. Reading. Watching movies. Writing. Exercising. Keeping to myself mostly.
I also recorded a bunch of new material but I’m not sure what I will do with it all yet. There is still a lot more to record but I haven’t been too inspired lately music wise. I do already have 13 songs recorded which is more than enough for an album. The recordings are pretty good and i’ve definitely taken quite a step forward since my last album almost 3 years ago in every way. It’s just very exhausting emotionally and spiritually to record them. But it is immensely rewarding when a song is complete especially if I am satisfied with it. There’s a few changes to add/change here and there on some songs & some finishing touches to be done after which they can be mastered. But as I said, I’m not sure if i’ll record more songs to choose from for a possible album. I’m sure I’ll figure it out sooner or later.
I really want to become a Naturopathic doctor. First I would have to get a Bachelor Of Science degree to get all the pre-med requirements done (which are necessary to become a fully certified N.D). Sure, it will take awhile but I am willing to put 10 years of my life into doing something I would love to do. It would also be a good way to fund my artistic endeavors which has really been a huge obstacle for me and my music. In the last few years I have developed a real deep passion for not just my own health but the whole science of feeling well and building one’s health. I think a profession where you are helping others improve their lives would be a very rewarding existence. Saying that, I am mostly against the whole medical industry which is why I don’t want to become a medical doctor.
I still want to be a musician. In fact, it’s no longer something I feel I can choose to be or not be. It never was. I am a musician. I always will be. It’s not a choice. It chooses me. But it’s not everything for me anymore. I realize now that like love, music (and all genuine art) for me is beyond everything else. It’s not apart of this world. It’s a separate reality. It’s the truth in its most purest form. It’s exciting to create these songs or write poems and feel like they are some different entity that is detached from myself. They seize to become me but at the same time they are the essence of me.
I used to think I can’t do anything else if I’m a musician. I was wrong. I can still be a musician and pursue other things. I don’t want to study music or teach it or have it taught to me. Music as an art form can’t be taught. Sure, you can learn the skills, technique and theory. That’s different. For me it’s a vehicle like a paintbrush is for a painter. I just want to write my songs, play and record them. Those who like them can enjoy them. That is the beauty in it for me.
I do know that I will once again be leaving Finland after the summer. Whether I will study somewhere or just travel around with my guitar (or do all of them), I want to be somewhere warm. This country is not the place for me (at least right now). I really want to meet some new people, make new friends and see new places. I feel like I need the ocean, palm trees and the sun. and they need me.