struggling with depression
last 25 years
when i go out
i am not authentic
i lie to everyone that i am okay
so they dont worry
art helps
and osho
tantra
but i keep forgetting
being vs doing
get confused
feel like everything is upside down
run into people and they say stupid things
thing they have been brainwashed to believe
like that putin should be shot
as if he is the cause
of all their problems
they talk about the economy
but why not just fix
your own economy
if everyone did that
things would be ok
worst of all because of
my fake friendliness
they want more from me
what i do not know
i wish they could see
through my act but then
i remind myself that
they are also probably
struggling with all this
there is deep joy too
i see it everywhere
feel it in momentary bursts
of pleasure and i know
everything is perfect
just the way
it is.