dilemma

when i feel good
i wanna be alone
when i am suffering
my loneliness is hell
then i walk outside
like i just got out of jail
taking in the oxygen
as if it was made for me
sucking in the sunshine
to warm my cold madness
i walk like the only man in town
who knows a fucking thing
although i know
that i know nothing
and that i am no different from everyone else
just as crazy
just as lazy
just as good
just worm food
and planet rapers
universal waste
we run around this jungle
the greatest apes
the gods are laughing
while we learn how to fly
without wings
off mountain tops
we fall down slowly
and pretend we are fine
although not so slowly,
running out of time
to love or not to love
the world i walk through
shame or no shame
it’s all the same
we are not important enough
to think we are
i am the only thing
there is
and there is something
that i only am
i cannot expect anyone
to understand
my dilemma