If someone says you have a big ego then it’s very likely that they have the same problem. And I don’t know if it’s actually a problem. Also not sure how one measures the size of an ego. Maybe they are all the same size. Or like ponds and lakes and oceans. All mind and thought and language is ego. Ego is mind. What else could it be? Ego is not the enemy. It’s just a recognition of self-identification. Identity games. It takes ego to play with ego. Egos dance. Outside we are all free. Bathing in the unity of all creation. TRUE LOVE. Confused gods who drank too much last night and blacked out.
After I joined FB again my sister asked me “are you sure this is a good idea”. I gave her some bullshit Machiavellian answer but the truth is that I was feeling a bit lonely and lacking social interaction with my people. So that’s why I am here. I like talking with people and sharing my thoughts. I delete things always because I used to have issues. Now I’m perfect and absolutely happy and completely in love with reality and my life and your life and everyone’s life and fascinated with the miracle of this moment and even laughing at what I just said but kind of inspired that words can have so much influence on my emotions. I don’t understand how we can just be here like this. Right now a ballet performance started to play in my head. I can hear Tchaikosvky and see beautiful dancers. Love is the great escape we’ve all been looking for. Even the metal and punk guys know it. Those amateur serial killers on death row know it too. You’ll know it soon. This all flows into the great ocean of nothingness eventually. Heaven or hell. I don’t know about that. i’m still in pre-school. Under 40. Kid. I could be a guy in a mental asylum from the future for all you know. Plugged into the matrix. Some people are most awake when lost in a deep slumber. I like the way those words make me feel. The rhythm. That’s why I am a poet (the real kind) and I believe that all life is poetry in the end. Storms with skin. I wonder what the rap scene is like in Siberia?
I love the Adolf Hitler that was an innocent boy who’s mother was mentally ill and father was abusive and the little boy who became an artist but couldn’t find success so he joined the military and then started reading about power and getting some strange ideas in his head that fueled his anger and thought he found the reason everything feels wrong and blamed external forces for that. This is the human struggle. He was looking for love like all of us. What he did after that I don’t approve of. He rose to power because he brought clarity to a broken nation. Be careful with the internet. We are all playing a dangerous game. People are too easily influenced. Please think for yourself. Form your own ideologies, cults and religions. Go solo. You are not vegan or liberal or right wing or a jew or gay or a black person or from Venezuala or whatever. You are a human being having experiences like all of us. Creating your reality. My sister always tells her kids, make good choices. I like that. Gandhi said be the change you wish to see. I disagree. Just create. There is no change. Change is for people who never do anything but complain and read self help books and watch netflix. I used to be that person and you all know me and love me still so thank you for giving me this opportunity to share and create. Welcome to the new economy. I vote for you.
All book are self help books. Self help is an oxymoron.
All action comes from desire. Buddha said to end suffering we gotta relinquish desire. That’s why heroin feels good. You plunge the needle and then you want nothing. Ultimate Euphoria is the state of non-wanting. You feel this intense sense of love and belonging when you are home. Mind games. That’s all this is. Life and death. Concepts. The worms are waiting for us.
Sometimes I say things that are a little crazy or black and white. I’m a bit of a provocateur. I’m developing my communication skills and trying to be more kind and understanding. But it takes time. Working on it! But sometimes I just fire and THEN aim. Apologies in advance. Things might get ugly now and then. You know how it is. Artists and their shadows and Jungian archetypes and all that. You are smart. You will see through it and call me out. I trust you. I am just playing. Building sandcastles. The ocean comes. Gone. Nothing. Then I say something else. I lose interest quickly even when they lock me up and I’m in a dungeon. Throw me a banana now and then.
I do a very convincing impersonation of myself.
Be kind to your donkey boys and girls.
Anybody know if there’s a good rap scene in Siberia? Just wonderin.
Sometimes these things pop into one’s mind while meditatin’.
You go back to the mantra. Nice and smooth.
Ask me anything.
They say I’m the wealthiest sad bastard on this side of the Milky Way.
I want to go to the other side. Will you come with me pumpkin?
I forgive you all. But I can’t remember why or for what.
You can never forget the first time the champagnes popped for you.
Listen to Pogo. Love puppies.
The ego is inherently narcissistic. A fool would wish ill upon it.
Meanwhile rainbows are being born and a band is starting a show somewhere.
I hurt easy, i just don’t show it. You can hurt someone and not even know it.
Bob Dylan
Gonna fall in love with the first woman I meet. Put her in a wheelbarrow.
Wheel her down the street.
Bob Dylan
All strength comes from suffering. Weakness is the lack of suffering. Taking risks. Putting it all on the line. Burning the bridge before you cross it. Get your friends to photo you on a burning bridge. Then scream some mad poetry and dance like a wizard on acid. This is how dinosaurs lost the war against ice and old testament gods. Nobody can follow you when you burn bridges and declare war on dinosaur ice gods.
They asked Tom Waits why he is drinking and crazy. Tom said it’s better to have a bottle in front of me than to have a frontal lobotomy.
My goal in life is to conquer the facebook post that gets zero likes but all the envy.
Why is everyone trying to change the world? You can’t change what is changing without you.
As we get older and wiser we become more confident in our insecurities. Small things. Subleties. Nuance. You know like the Grammy awards they give during commericals break. Really looking forward to Sturgill Simpson’s new album.