this band thing is quite a challenge. things are moving slow. i wrote down all the awe songs and potential ones and there’s about 30 of them. i’d really like to get them all recorded. our intention was to record a 5 song EP last month which we attempted to do with the guy who we sub leased our rehearsal room to because he had professional recording gear and we initially thought he seemed cool and professional and might be able to help us get our sound down but we tried to do it and it was just a complete catastrophe.
in hindsight i can say that it wasn’t his fault. the truth is, i’m not really that great at working with other people. especially people who aren’t really artistic. i don’t like to play by the rules. actually i don’t like for there to be rules at all especially when it comes to making music and art in general. or at least by anybody else’s rules. well, he had all the fancy programs and plugins and the “30 year experience” and blablablaa. it wasn’t long into the sessions that i realized this was not happening. but i decided to stick with it and try to get through the week thinking maybe some magic will come out of this struggle. but eventually i lost my cool with the guy when he was telling me “you can’t do this” and “you can’t do that” and “it just doesn’t work like this” and all this bullshit about compressors, noisegates, auto-tune (which I’ve never liked to use because they kill all soul and feeling) and trying to change and mess with our songs and sounds…well, the point is he didn’t understand what we are about and we should’ve communicated this to him properly before any work was done.
It is absolutely essential that art remains uncompromisingly selfish. that’s the only art I am interested in. this is probably the main reason i am not really much of a success. but i’d rather do things my way and enjoy it myself than compromise just so i can be on mtv and win a grammy. most people don’t understand the whole inspiration/creative process if they don’t experience it themselves. that intuitive process is everything for me. although our songs initially come from me, peter adds his rhythms and beats to it and makes it all come alive and dance and scream in its own way with his spiritual jungle beast drumming. all i care about is that it sounds like it’s supposed to sound and that it is played well and that the songs are strong. that’s Awe in a nutshell.
so what happens now? well, that’s a good question. apart from our practicing to keep our playing in shape and skills maintained and creative juices flowing, Peter is finishing his economic studies while i’m pursuing my own school-of-life studies (which you can read about more in my own blog toendlesslybeginagain.blog
spot.com). I’m quite obsessed with my own health and fitness which I think is crucial for everything else. i’ve become quite a recluse although i’m really enjoying my own company which also seems to serve all the poetry i’ve been writing lately. in the past, my reclusive tendencies seemed to be more of an escape mechanism. now I feel more and more that going back into the world of temptations and blind, weak, passionless, slavery and submission is the actual escape from really living and being genuine and fully alive. why escape from life? why run away? sure, i still have my moments of madness but they are more… cathartic. i believe highly in a fiercely independent human being. although I also do believe we have an ethical responsibility to help others when necessary and if possible.
I don’t really see the point of doing live shows right now although we might do a few just for fun. all i’m interested in is getting our songs recorded and putting them online so you can all listen to them and I can listen to them and Peter can listen to them. we are going to have our own mobile studio soon which i am excited about. we just gotta get a bit more money together. as soon as we have the basic requirements for that, then it really begins. I also want to gradually move away from the traditional band thing…(e.g. liveshows, albums, singles, music videos) and start embracing the internet more and in fact revolutionize the whole concept of making music and distributing it in the 21st century. i don’t care about fame or money or any of that. I just want to record my music and express myself. this is my vehicle. this is my life. a gift to oneself is a gift to the world. it’s all a process. but it does take time and patience. for me, there’s no rush.
i guess we’ll see what happens. later.
Markus
Ps. it’s nice to have a few fans already on here considering we haven’t really done anything yet. I hope our “few” fans don’t get too impatient about our snail-like pace 🙂 don’t worry, the longer it takes, the better it will be.