all these stupid blogs and stories
meds and diets and apartments and projects
songs and training my voice and writing poetry
playing my guitar while watching shows and formula 1
reading all these books i buy on amazon
got like 500 books and reading about 10 at once, a chapter here and chapter there
still got a few phone numbers, I use prepaid contracts because my credit scores are fucked because at some point i just stopped caring and don’t pay bills
i just pay rent and electricity and that’s it although I don’t even want to pay those anymore
i want to see what would happen if I just stop turning all these devices on, stop bathing, stop blinking stop talking and stop practising and stop reading and stop being a human being
what would happen if i just walked off into the night with nothing but the clothes i am wearing
no identification, no money, no thoughts, no plan
i joined medium to start this blog because i wanted to become famous and finally feel like i belong in this world but after a week it hasn’t worked so i’m exporting all my posts to back up everything and then i will delete everything and delete all my email addresses and delete my dreams and memories and delete my whole concepts of identity
i will walk to the free health care clinic and tell them these fucking pills dont do shit and you are all dumb smartphone addicts who are just trying to fulfill a job requirement or contract or whatever
and sometimes i will answer my phone or email and pretend things are great and tell you things to make you feel beauty again and appreciate small things you might have missed and i will tell you these great stories and make everything all excited and crazy just like all the great directors
saw tarantino’s new film
for the first few hours i was like when is this thing gonna start or am i just out of love with hollywood or what the hell
and then it started and it was amazing!! wow what a film
loved the vibes and the actors and well… here’s the thing with tarantino… his work doesn’t really have any core to it, like spirituality or morality
not like Kubrick or Malick or even Scorcese
Tarantino just does movies about movies about movies as if movies was a form of reality and everything else is just the day to day grind…
it lacks that poetry but then again there is some magic there also that i can’t quite explain
he has his own style, the music, the dialogue, the way he shows you a scene like in this new one those wide shots of LA
it’s beautiful
what the hell, maybe there ain’t no morality or spirituality anyways
have this friend who is almost as crazy as me who used to be this monk and now he’s writing and living the crazy man’s ballad you know… he thinks all this self help stuff is complete horseshit and just went back to atheism and writing
i kind of get it
there is no point to anything nor a point in even saying that
not sure why i am not just making music all day
i’m kind of sick of music and everything
not really sure what the hell i’m supposed to be doing
i don’t how to love
It’s not wise to join another person’s business (in this case any social media company) and create content for them
that’s why i don’t like youtube or spotify or facecrack or medium or reddit or any of those advertising platforms
every moment you spend here and me writing is money going to other people
the hippie thing didn’t work out
it’s every one out for themselves
i am my own country and army
i will kill every fucking last one of you who gets in my way
Life War SocialMedia Madness Love