I was living in Dublin, Ireland in 2008 and met Sinead in a bar. We found each other’s gaze, smiled and connected. She was a beautiful red-haired PhD geneticist. Tall, slim, and catholic. And by pure coincidence/serendipity I happened to be reading Matt Ridley’s book Genome. It’s the only book I have read on the subject before or since. So there was an immediate rapport and strong attraction. Primal urges activated. GAME ON!
As I got to know her more and stayed over at her place, I noticed she ate really healthy food, ran marathons and had great taste in music and poetry. In the morning she would eat berries and other fresh stuff. I remember her fragile feminine glow. I just wanted to smoke a cigarette, drink coffee to feel human again and get some fish and chips before going back to my hostel. And write songs about my beautiful misery as I wandered Dublin streets with my guitar, sometimes playing songs to strangers who would give me money or buy my album. I think she was attracted to my dark, wild danger and depth. It’s usually what also scares them away in the end. But the con can only last so long…
I started to get curious. I was 25. Mostly eating junk food, smoking, drinking and feeling terrible. That’s all I knew. That was the way I was brought up by family, school, movies and society. I was out of shape and quite miserable, and hungover most of the time. I lived for women, wine and song. But something was not right. Things didn’t work out with her but she got me on a path I have never really left. She was a vegan but she eased me into it with a book on the Okinawans in Japan where they have the most centenarians (people who live over 100). They don’t suffer from the same issues we do here in the west. And there are clear reasons for that, which the book would teach me.
So I began to experiment. I simplified my diet, eliminating certain things, eventually going vegetarian and then vegan. This was all new to me. And when I get interested in something, I become obsessed! This has always been a blessing and a curse. A blessing because curiosity drives us to explore the unknown and discover treasures beyond our wildest imaginations. A curse because I am always eager to share what I learn and most people don’t like to be questioned. And also, I always want more. For some reason I assumed others would be just as excited about my discoveries but much to my heart’s discontent, this has not proven to be the case throughout my life.
It took me many years to learn how to eat and move and live like I do now. I failed many times and went back to the old grind where everything was familiar: burgers, beer, porn, negative thoughts, laziness. But once you get a taste for the way of light, love and truth, you can never really go back to the darkness. Nothing feel as good as becoming the person you were always meant to be. That said, learning this stuff was not easy! I have a very rebellious nature and that can get very problematic at times.
I’m now reminded of a song by Ray Lamontagne:
“I’ve been to hell and back so many times, I must admit, it kind of bores me.”
I agree with Ray. I am done with hell.
And I’m here now. Alive to tell the tale!
Thank you for reading friend. Feel free to comment or get in touch if you have thoughts you want to share or need some assistance! I’m here to serve and empower. Remember you are free to decide how you wish to conduct yourself and live your life from this point onwards. No matter how bad it gets, you always have that choice. You are the cause and the creator. Choose wisely.
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