I think people who are from and live in the western world often forget how lucky they are. I am especially guilty of this. I forget to appreciate that I have friends and family who love and care about me, I have the freedom to do what I want and think how I want, I am surrounded by a world of beautiful and inspiring art in books, cinema, music, painting, poetry, I am not surrounded by war and suicide bombings or repression or have to fear for my life and those around me every moment of the day and I have a chance to travel around the world to almost any place (when I have the money to do it). But most of all, I am free to pursue my ‘own’ life exactly the way I want it and I have the freedom to express myself and dream and hope and be who I want to be. This IS freedom and we are more free than some people realize.
Of course we can complain about all of the above things and critisize our lives because of the imperfections that are associated with everything. We also forget that many people assume everything to be perfect. We think we deserve perfection. We blame other people, our families and society for our insecurities, our failures, our imperfections. They forget to look at theirselves and wish things were like they were before or they look to the future and hope things will be different. They feel trapped in their job or apathetic towards their lover or enslaved by mass culture. They complain, become negative and do bad things. I think this cynical, pessimistic, cold, unrationalistic and unmoral view of everything spreads like a disease. Smiles becomes frowns and joy is poisoned with fear and envy which can turn into hatred and violence. Thus begins a neverending cycle of revenge and unforgiveness.
Many people travel around the world in hopes of finding a new perspective on things and possibly a better place somewhere. They hope that life will be easier and more perfect somewhere else. I think travelling is a great teacher because it shows you something that you can’t read in magazines, books or really see in films or in other people’s stories. When you travel, you are seeing the world through your own eyes and not somebody else’s. But the hope that there is some paradise that will take away all your problems is unrealistic. Sure, there is a chance that you will find a place that better suits your personality, where you feel like you belong more, where you might meet the right person or find yourself. But I think true well being and balance is achieved when you are not dependant on your surroundings, people you know, your status among peers, your bank balance, your age, your situation in life, your posessions, your knowledge, etc.
Feeling good and positive is an attitude. It is the way you react and adapt to new situations. It is an ability to admire, appreciate and respect even the least admirable or neglible things. I think happiness is just a temporary pleasure and I don’t believe in an everlasting state of happiness. It is like laughing or crying. I think people also betray themselves with their fake smiles and ungenuine laughter. Most people tend to laugh at a joke they didn’t understand if everyone else is also laughing because they want to belong and ‘coming out’ with your true feelings and your ‘own’ opinions is for some reason feared and looked down upon. I think the opposite is true and I think we should relish in uniqueness.
Ever since we are brought up as children, we are taught to want certain things and to live a certain kind of life. These things become so deeply ingrained in our beliefs that we think they are our own or the ideal wants that one can have. We are obviously to some degree and to a certain age apart of the ‘system’. We have to go to school until a certain age, we have to get a job in order to pay rent, our bills, etc. We have to obey the law and respect the government and pay taxes. The average life (or the ideal life) has the following guidelines and what happens in between is of course always different: birth, primary school, high school, college, career, girlfriend, purchase of car, purchase of home, marriage, children, retirement, grand children, death. These are the ideals that are engraved into our system. The leaders of the world enjoy this structure because knowing what to expect helps keep things stable and in control and there is as less as possible room for possibly rebellious thought, critisism against them, questioning laws/constitutions or anything that may lead to uneasiness in the collective health of their state. People are apart of this system and they think that this is the way you are supposed to go through life.
I think going through life like this does two things.
Firstly, it takes all the living and adventure out of life. As I said in the first paragraph, we are free. Free to live life like you want to. There are no rules or guidelines. There is no right or wrong path. Mistakes and failure is inevitable and necessary to truly learn. This is such a big world with so much opportunity, how can we enslave ourselves to this dogma of how and when we should do this and that.
Secondly, i think it threatens our opportunity for truly feeling good with ourselves. Becoming you own and not somebody else’s vision of yourself is not something that most governments care about.
Lots of people who I know and who I am close to wonder why I don’t go to university to get an education and why I don’t want to have a secure future or why I am so inclined to live on the outside of everything. They think that they are only thinking about what’s best for me but what they are really doing is showing huge disrespect towards me and making me feel ever so more estranged from them. They don’t ask me about my views, they just assume that I am doing the wrong thing. They also don’t know what it means to dream of greatness because they have settled for only ‘good enough’. They think I am doing nothing. Certain relatives and friends are very guilty of this and I at least hope that someday they will learn to appreciate that the world has people like me in it. I am not the only one. I am quite sure that people like me do have something to offer. I have no interest in living a good life or being a good man. I want to live a great life and be a great man even if it’s only to myself and nobody else would recognize it.
I do not know how society would work if nobody had any guidelines to how they should live their life. If kids were encouraged to bring out their uniqueness. If we were taught from a young age how important it is to think for yourself and find your own way through life. If we were awarded and praised for our individualness. If we were told that having a phd, being famous or having lots of money is not essential to a good life. I don’t know what this would be like as a whole although I am sure it would be an even better place than the one we already have.
I also wonder where does this willingness or unwillingness come from and how is it shaped. Why do I not want to be apart of the norm? What does this say about me? Is it a good or bad thing? Is it possible to really change people’s thoughts who are very much apart of the system? Or is it just something that has to come from them deep within? Is change for them as difficult as a change for me to be like them? Is there really a ‘me’ (or ‘us’) and ‘them’? These are questions I have absolutely no answers to.
I am still a young man and although I try to learn about the world everyday through my experiences and from educating myself with books, films, articles, etc I realize how less I really know. I do not pretend to have answers or say that this is more right than that. I am simply unqualified for being an expert on anything I am talking about, I admit it. All I am doing is taking a snapshot of my current personal thoughts and writing them down. Nothing more.
I am extremely hungry to learn more about the world and how it works. I am fascinated with science and reason. l am deeply passionate about biology, psychology, astronomy as much as I am with art. I don’t like the idea of religion. It is dangerous and poisonous to a rational mind. It is also unnecessary to live with such false premises.
A part of me thinks like this: I would like to be more of an activist and help out in the real world because I am aware that although my western society is quite free and peaceful, there is a threat that involves us all. There are also places where children are dying of hunger. Have you ever stopped to imagine what that must be like? Think about a child in our society who gets to eat candy and play with plastic toys and smile and wonder. Compare that with the idea of a little child who is dying. No future, no hope, no toys, no candy. Think about that real hard. Imagine the child’s thoughts. Imagine their last tears which are filled with only despair and sorrow. Innocent children who are totally unaware of what is going on are dying everyday. Children are all equal (unlike adults). They deserve an equal chance at life. Yes, you can choose to not think about it but what if it was someone you knew? What would you do then? Not enough is being done! As long as this world is a place where this can exist, I don’t think anybody deserves happiness, wealth, or freedom nor do they desrve time to fully pursue their own lives.
Another part of me thinks like this: I think if everybody really did something to help, we would get far and fast. The problem is, there is no everybody. That is a problem we must also face. The world is not united. I am fully aware that people have their own problems and before you get through them (which many never do), how can you even have time to care about a starving child or a religious fanatic with nuclear weapons? What have I ever really done to help anyone? I have never donated money. I have never become apart of any charity organization. I have always felt that these problem don’t effect me. I assume that other people will take care of it because they know what they are doing, I don’t know anything.
I’d like to think that I am at least going in the right direction. I know I am not alone with my thoughts and feelings on these things and I hope that one day I will be able to look back on a life that tried it’s best to make the world a better place.
