Had a long conversation last night with a good friend I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. We exchanged some stories and I told him a bit about my current lifestyle and absolutist stance towards, among other things, intoxication of the senses, going out to bars, partying, etc but through all that somehow came that one question which cuts through all the crap which was essentially; through all this ‘hardcore’ living-it-real, am I happy?
Well, let’s see now. I told him I would think about it. Still am. What a cruel word. I mean, did we invent this word to torture each other? Because in all honesty, it is a word without a concrete meaning in the ‘actual’ world. Yes, there are many words we have created that would fit into that same ambivalent category but this is the one that underlies our whole humankind and is the word we measure our success with. Without happiness, what are we? Is it not perhaps even the defining trait (or at least potential) of a human? Can other animals feel/be happy? Or a better question, can other animals be unhappy?
Is life really that simple? Are we either happy or unhappy? What about in between? Is there a place that lies happily in between happiness and unhappiness? What about not caring about the word and being above/below all that happiness bullshit?
There’s a scene in the “Into The Wild” film/book at the end where the main character writes “happiness is real only when shared” before he dies from starvation in the middle of Alaska. Can we only feel happy when we can call our friends about it or write a blog about it or hug our dog about it? Or even write a song about it or express it some other way through art?
Let’s look at nature. Animals are born, they play, they learn how to hunt, how to survive, they kill, they eat, they mate, they survive a little more and then they die either by starvation, by old age or are hunted down or catch some disease because they get too close to us. That is their life (and ours too if you really get to the core of it). All they really need is food, air, water and a chance to live in their own habitat. Some animals can survive anywhere and ultimately they have no habitat. They don’t have time to be happy. Ultimately, nature doesn’t care if you are happy.
In the end we are animals. We are governed by nature’s laws. Nature is what it is. Our true purpose is to fulfill our role in nature. Boy, have we drifted far from that. We have become a species with the ability to question it’s own meaning? We have this emotional side to our existence. Our brains are overly qualified at sending our bodies all kinds of signals when our emotions are played with. Happiness is just a way to explain that all is okay for now. No intense threatening emotions to give us those feelings of fear and anxiety (to warn us of danger) or intense adrenaline or euphoristic rushes when we are overwhelmed with joy (to guide us with pleasure).
Happiness is a gift and it’s a curse. There is no happiness without it’s arch enemy; sadness or depression.
I am always weary of people who are self-proclaimed happy. It’s just the same as with people who make an effort to say how smart or intelligent they are themselves. I think these people are the least happy or smart. Their happiness and intelligence is a thin delusion. Put them trapped in a burning building and we’ll see how happy they are. Or take away their coffee, cheeseburgers, television, cigarettes, elevator, air conditioning to achieve the same effect. Okay, okay that’s cruel I know. If you feel like you’re happy, be happy. Congratulations. Enjoy it while it lasts. Maybe it’ll last forever? What do I know. Just don’t expect any christmas cards from me.
Well, before I get too bitter about it (which might also hint at my own current happiness level) let’s get back to the question and turn the spotlight back on moi.
(Before that i have to quote the great Kurt Cobain when he sang in DUMB “I think I’m dumb, or maybe just happy”).
Are you happy Markus?
My answer: no.
and yes.
What is happiness?
My definition: a moment by moment choice we make constantly to accept fully the world around us and our place in it.
That’s the only kind of happiness I have any interest in.