I’m not the smartest guy there is but I make up for that in my humility. Yesterday I played the wedding show in England, got paid 400pounds for playing two 45minute sets. As usual, a crowd like that was more into the covers at least the majority. Luckily there was a few people who were really listening and I sold three copies of the album. It is always nice to hear the praise after playing your ass off which i did. There was only one mic which was taking my guitar and voice. It was the old fashioned way, pretty cool but I didn’t really get a good sound for myself although it seemed to be alright for the audience. Well I got paid good for it so it was worth it. I just really hope I don’t have to do these kinds of shows for too long.
On tuesday, Dez is meeting with Geffen records in LA to present me to them. This is the biggest thing that’s happened to me so far although I can’t be there to witness the meeting. Luckily my manager is the best person I could even hope to think of to represent me. He knows the way this game works. We have to get a temporary website for that and today I did an hour photo shoot with a photographer here in Newark, England. Since I have to make sure Dez has everything he can for 5pm tuesday, I won’t leave for Dublin until wednesday morning.
I drank too much last night. It’s hard to stop drinking when you can drink all you want. My sister made me realize that and I just left the wine bottle I just got on the table and we went home. I really wanted to stay there and get wasted. I don’t know how I’m gonna come to grips with my drinking. I guess it’s not that bad to drink too much as long as you don’t do it too often and let it interfere with your life. Of course it can progress so we’ll just have to see how it goes. If it starts controlling me, i won’t hesitate to quit. I just don’t want to be at a party sober. It’s one thing being sober at home or when doing other stuff but when you’re at a party sober with people drunk and having fun is like going to a gym with all your winter clothing on. It’s just stupid. If you don’t like parties or bars then you don’t go to them. I don’t want to make a big deal about it anymore.
I need to get laid. I need that record contract. I need my own place. I really need these things!
I watched the f1 race today, Räikkönen was leading until 2 laps to go when it started to rain. He crashed and Hamilton won. This had a huge effect on my mood and still is. I try to tell myself how stupid it is for me to let something like that get to me. Perhaps i should stop watching racing if it’s too much for me to handle. I feel bad for Kimi.
I’m watching a film called Fracture right now, have to get my mind off this depression that I feel once again setting in. I will try my best to turn it around and hopefully things will brighten.
I guess that’s it for now.