btw, by “modern culture” i mean the whole of western civilization. it is a cancer. and it is spreading. i am a white cell fighting against this cancer. not that i really like this idea of “world peace”. that’s bullshit. nature is not necessarily peaceful. it is harmonious though. constantly seeking balance. sometimes you gotta flush out the garbage with a nice big storm. nature is not some separate entity that we are either going against or on it’s side or something. nope. we are nature. but like we are our bodies, sometimes we are sick. sickness happens when there is too much stress inside our bodies and it is not able to work properly. the whole universe is also a sort of body. we are apart of that body. just like our cells are apart of ours. do you see now? you cannot be happier than the most unhappy person there is. if the collective happiness is missing, then there is work to do. a sick body cannot be happy. health and happiness go hand in hand. think about your own body. if you are broken and sick, you do not function properly. get well. that’s the first step. for those who care (enough).
most people’s happiness is a joke. i personally don’t know one person who i think is genuinely happy and healthy. not when there’s kids dying from lack of food. that i just can’t accept. no chance. we should all be in tears, in tragedy, in misery. otherwise nobody will do anything except donate a few dollars to a hotline flashing across the bottom of a tv screen while watching american idol. that is an insult. a disgrace!
i never want to be richer than the world’s poorest person.
i never want to be less hungry than the starving children.
yet i am.
and that’s why i am suffering.
but i need to turn my suffering into a source of energy. to drive me. until now, it has been a hole for me. i dig and dig myself deeper and deeper into this hole. i want to help those in need. but first i have to help myself. i know that is the only way. but it’s frustrating because i feel like i need to do something more. but the body can only heal itself. medicines, remedies, drugs, potions, pills. they are just brushing the problem under the carpet. and that’s why i don’t support any kind of charity work. sure, it’s better than nothing. but i prefer everything. but nobody is willing to give everything.
i am ready. i have been ready for a long time. nobody understands what i am doing. they think i am wasting my time. they think i should be doing “something” with my life. they don’t know me. they are the problem. the disease.
i sometimes wish everybody would give up their lives so we could all take care of the problems. figure out a way.
but the problem is the same. that problem is ignorance. the worst kind of ignorance is being ignorant of your own ignorance. overcoming that is the second step. education and knowledge is the way. of course they can come through many things. through art, through science, through traveling, through being open minded, through seeking for your own experiences and truths. figuring things out for yourself. that’s the third step.
it is seen in our relationships. our politics. our violent thoughts. our competing natures. our greed for money. our need to consume endlessly.
i get so horribly depressed about these things, it just makes me feel helpless.
ignorance is indeed bliss.
a very undeserved and cruel bliss.
capitalism at it’s best.
evil to the core. if there is such a thing as morality.
we are our own biggest obstacles.
that is the invisible war. the greatest battle there ever was.
intelligence/consciousness can be a fickle bitch sometimes.