i first went vegan in 2009 after dabbling with vegetarian the previous year. i briefly dated a beautiful catholic girl in ireland where i was living. she was a geneticist, ran marathons and didn’t consume any animal products. she never pushed vegan on me but because we already shared mutual interests in poetry, music and bodily fluids, it was a natural extension to talk about her radical approach to life. she gave me a book on okinawans in japan who were known as the longest lived people on earth and had the most centenarians.
after experimenting and studying further, i found people online that introduced me to the natural hygiene system of health and some of its modern practitioners like doug graham and durianrider. the latter ran an internet forum/community called 30 bananas a day which i joined and immersed myself in the discussions. these people were living a different kind of life full of vitality and morality. i found this incredibly attractive and stimulating intellectually and spiritually, something which i could not find in my other life as a rock’n roll poet and boozehound.
learning about the power fruit was a revolution for me. but i also got into the moral aspect of eating and living our lives through the work of animal rights activists like gary yourofsky. his speaches were spreading like wildfire on youtube. i really resonated with his fire and take no prisoners approach to activism. i went deeper and deeper into these worlds until it all bled into my discussions with old friends and family.
they were not on board at all. on the contrary.
this was something that was quite heartbreaking but revealing just like the covid vaccine scandal was in recent years. so many people are willing to talk tough and boohoo about the establishment all day but when push comes to shove, they are the first to bend over and do what they are told. spineless cowards.
it seemed that all my friends and family and everyone i knew did not want to be questioned and did not care for deeply engaging topics that forced them to look at their own daily choices. they felt threatened and i became their enemy. they claimed to want the best for me and welcome me back to their slave zombie herd monkey lifestyles but i had no interest in going back. and they made it clear that they are not gonna join me in the revolution of truth and love.
i was not good with conflict nor debating. i got defensive and mean to cover my hurt and then wallowed in self-pity. and i was deeply disappointed that they were not even willing to hear me out. this created a gulf between my personal life at the time with all the old connections and with this new ideal virtuous superior man i intended on becoming. that gulf would only grow in the coming years and although i would drift back into my old ways again and again like a junkie goes back to the crackden, i knew i could never really go back. but i also kept burning myself out as an activist fighting for the animals.
i wanted to go beyond fighting and unite the people, even the ones that disagreed. how can i build a bridge on the common ground? ecologically we are all united. how could i get people to see that we all actually want the same thing.
the next decade was spend travelling and still working on my music which has been my only true companion and family. i was still addicted to the hedonism and greed of the modern man in all its narcissism and vanity. but i was too gone into the wacky woowoo of new age veganism and self help to be a target for the music industry to groom. i was a loose cannon and didn’t have the hits they required. so i just played in pubs and streets scrounging for my next meal. i attracted other crazies like me who didn’t quite fit in. most of them broken by the system but like me, still trying to adjust somehow.
my meditation practice continued with the art and health. these were my pillars. and reading. i devoured books on all kinds of topics, non-fiction or novels. one of my highest skills and abilities was always integrating different ideas. this comes in handy with the writing and song production. but i was also possessed with the obsessive curiosity of a child asking why why why. with a relentless appetite to learn, grow and evolve in all areas of human potential. i was and still am the most ambitious creature you will ever find with the hunger of a prize fighter to win at all costs. i dream of paradise for all humans and return the earth back the biodiversity i needs to thrive.
i knew that if i could somehow put all this together, i would be okay and build a beautiful empire of melodies and poetry for future generations. that was the goal and the dream and still is. still working on that.
it’s taken me a lot of trial and error to see what works in business, marketing and communication. i am always testing people and challenging their views even if it comes across as trolling and judgemental now and then. i don’t think this is such a bad thing. i also like to be challenged and tested to see if my concepts can withhold the scrutiny. tell me where i’m wrong. to this day i have not found one single convincing argument against veganism. not one. and even when i was down and out, in my lowest moments, i always knew that veganism is the way forwards towards freedom.
it’s important to bring an element of fun to difficult conversations. this takes some skill because if you get angry and violent, you lose. checkmate. your body language and demeanour reveals the seriousness of your own convictions. if you keep losing your composure, it tells me that even you don’t believe your own bullshit. if a doorknob turns right to open, you having a tantrum ain’t gonna change that.
these days, i spend most of my time alone. this used to be more difficult for me because i felt like a failure and was programmed to fit in. i was always thinking about how i need to have a girlfriend and a house and a career and all that crap. and the people around me were always forcing this narrative on me, who i should be and what i should do. rarely asking me what i actually love and who i really wanted to be.
now i know that they just didn’t know how because they were also programmed to fit in. and most people don’t have the mentality of self improvement past the age of 20. they give up before the game has even started. they adopt a persona who has certain preferences and just live as that person for the rest of their lives, building their whole world around that identity. they are nostalgic about the past when they were young, free and beautiful. when they get health problems they go to a doctor and do what they say (which reveals to me that all humans want to be healthy and happy but they don’t have the sovereignty this requires). what a sad, dishonest and pathetic way to live life.
it is now 2023. i am at home. it is saturday morning. i am listening to old blues records, drinking herbal tea and writing this. unlike in the past, i now know what i am doing and my ideology is one of absolute truth. this means that what is true remains true regardless of mine or your opinion. the truth is there to be discovered.
the way.